Here are the 2020 words, phrases and topics I never want to use after December 31st… pandemic, corona, covid 19, wuhan virus, china virus, contact tracing, masks, n95, ventilators, droplets,PPE, social distancing, flattening the curve, peak, anti maskers, quarantine, stay at home orders, zoom, webex, virtual learning, cares money, outside vs inside dining, gym shut downs, small business struggles, 1200 dollars, 600 dollars, bail outs, pfizer, moderna, and any political name associated with the above.
So, I’m not using any of those for this post!!! Or at least I’m going to try not to. Funny how absorbed we get in this insanity that conversations naturally sway in the above words direction! But, I do want to talk about the blessings I’ve received from this very difficult year. I want to find the good in the bad, the joy in the insanity, and the growth I’ve had in this very big opportunity we call 2020.
My Hubs always sees the beauty in the rubble. The sweetness in the chaos. Like when I had to miss a semester of college because of illness, he sent me a bright and beautiful box full of crunchy and colorful fall leaves from campus. When we didn’t have two pennies to rub together, my hubby walked in with a 50 cent peppermint patty for our anniversary (my favorite candy). And, most precious, when my Hubs was in the middle of a war zone in Iraq, he sent me “flowers” from the desert. It will always be considered my biggest and best gift…a photograph sent via email. A beautiful bloom that grew, miraculously, between two stones in a walkway area that virtually never sees rain. It’s so awesome to marry someone you want to be more like! I think if I spent the next 50 years trying, I will never come close to this man’s sweetness! But, I’m going to give it my all to find the beauty in the ashes like he always does!
Christmas is quickly arriving and as I sit here meditating on 2020, I see so many blessings that I wouldn’t have noticed had I not been forced to be still. Focusing on those blessings has helped me find peace with hard decisions I’ve made this year, cope with the struggles of the Hubs being gone for so long (aiding with all the above mentioned words I promised not to say), missing my BOCF (big ole crazy family) in a HUGE way, and my billions and billions of 2020 style fears.
So, today I share with y’all my first big blessing…
Many of you will think I’ve lost my mind, but the isolation from corporate worship has been a HUGE and unexpected blessing. It’s actually increased my faith and allowed me to focus on my personal relationship with Christ. In the up and down moments of 2020, I’ve alone formed my own time, types and methods of prayer, found new devotionals, sought out new preachers and new worship styles, and really depended solely on the Creator. That’s not to say that I didn’t do some of these things before, but the pandemic caused me to RUN to the foot of the cross in a very private and raw way. Those quiet moments of Him and me alone have really made me feel uniquely loved in His eyes. God’s heard my most private, honest and simple words. I’ve felt comforted and comfortable more than ever before.
We’ve had most weekends together, thankfully! My Hubs and I have sought out different ways to enjoy the Sabbath. Some days it was a one service day, others it was a three service day. But we did it together and in our pjs with Shipleys, coffee or hot tea! We could pause or rewind the television when we missed something. We could sing or just listen. We calmly, lovingly, arriving at “church” without the craziness of ironing clothes, searching for matching socks, and polishing fingernails. I heard a preacher once say that we should recline back in Christ’s arms. I hold on to those words because often times, the world tries to push us to the edge with timelines, traditions,rules and heavy handed guidance in worship. I love the feeling of that old song “come as you are, and I will wipe your pain away.” Sundays have become our most restful and replenishing day of the week. I think that might have been God’s purpose from the beginning.
The realization is that many of us have taken this opportunity to walk back to early biblical worship traditions. I researched and found that weekly gatherings began about 20 years after Christ’s resurrection. The early church was simply a gathering of family and close community members, worshiping in houses and sharing a meal together (Paul talks about it in Corinthians). This is actually not too different than the Edwards household of 2020! Again, I loved days of past going to the church house and miss it greatly, but I now feel good about saying worship can be contained and enjoyed in families too. And, I might add that in the comfort of our living room, the intimacy of sharing thoughts and prayers and emotion has been such a wonderful experience.
I guess what I am saying is I really think this time in “the cave” has allowed me to grow. The Lord has provided all that I needed and more and I am so grateful for this opportunity. Soon the earth will heal and everything can start up again, but I believe our family will forever be changed. Final analysis? Church and worship travel with the heart and the will of every Believer!
What’s next for worship in 2021? The Lord knows and will reveal it in His time! I for one, can’t wait!
MORE BLESSINGS LATER!
